Trying to Hope
by Kaylee Mechanique
Summary: Written for the Kink Meme over on LJ. Prompt-sex to conceive. They both just want a baby.


AN: Written for the Castle Kink Meme over on LJ (prompt: Castle/Beckett. Sex to conceive.  
Hot and slow and lots of dirty talk about how sexy she's going to be carrying his child.)

He sees it when finishes flossing his teeth and goes to throw out the long string into the garbage can. The pregnancy test has one solitary line instead of the plus that he'd been hoping for. He deposits the floss in the receptacle and wonders what emotional state he'll find his wife in.

Rick exits the bathroom, wearing just his boxers, and rests against the door jamb to take in his wife sitting on the bed, rubbing lotion into her feet. He watches her as she swirls and massages her hands around her feet for a few moments.

"Hey," he says quietly breaking the silence.

Kate doesn't look up as she continues rubbing lotion into her feet as she softly responds, "Hey." After a beat she softly adds, "Did you floss?" still avoiding making eye contact with him.

Rick sets his mouth in a grim line for a moment and answers "Yeah I did," and slowly pushes off the door jamb to make his way towards her to settle in next to her on the bed. When he's comfortable she leans back into him and continues rubbing her feet.

"Maybe it's a sign," her voice is quiet and defeated sounding, quite unlike anything Rick has heard her say before. It scares him a little bit and he's not exactly sure how to respond. He decides that serious would probably be better, but that trying to turn it into a joke might make her feel better.

"Kate. It's not a sign. We've only been trying for seven months. You asked your OB/GYN and she said she wouldn't even consider referring you to a fertility specialist until we've been trying for at least a year. Besides I thought that the great Katherine Beckett didn't believe in signs, fate, psychics, or Santa?"

From the huff of air, he can tell that he's made her smile and she teasingly pokes at him with her green toenails. But he's still surprised when she answers "Katherine Beckett didn't, but maybe Katherine Castle does. Maybe her husband and brain washed her or something."

He waits her out, thinking that there's possibly something else she's not saying, trying to shroud her true feelings in humor and snark. He eases back against the headboard of their bed and pulls her to rest between his legs, her head resting against her chest. He begins to slowly massage her back and shoulders in silence.

Rick is rewarded for his efforts and silence when her head shifts and he hears her just barely half-whisper and half-sob into his neck. "Maybe we waited too long."

Rick feels his heart break as he entwines his arms around her and kisses the top of her head as he brings his hand up to wipe the single tear that is falling slowly and gracefully down the side of her face. "Kate. We weren't waiting, Kate. We were getting ready. I spent four years waiting for you Kate, trust me I know what waiting feels like. The last two years we've been enjoying ourselves and doing all the things we've wanted to and needed to before we could be ready to have a baby." He peppers the top and side of her head with small gentle kisses.

Kate pulls away from him, turning over on to her back, pulling him with her until he's positioned over her. She looks into his eyes for the first time that night and softly asks "And now we're ready, right?" hope shining in her hazel-green eyes.

Rick kisses her slowly and deeply twice, drawing a moan from deep within her chest. He looks back into her eyes and responds. "Not yet. I've heard that they have to gestate for nine months, but in nine months we'll be ready to have a baby."

Kate's mouth tightens and she rolls her eyes at her husband. Then she reaches for his mouth again, twisting her tongue into his mouth until he moans. He kisses the corner of her mouth and then begins to trail kisses downwards, stopping to nip and suckle and her jaw and the pulse in her throat. When he reaches the top of her sleep shirt, he slides his hand up her hip until he reaches the shirt and drags it off her body. He pauses to look at her as his husky voice hums out "And what a nine months it'll be Kate."

He slides his hands back down her body and takes the lacy black panties off on his downward sweep. He returns and places one palm on her breast twisting, stroking and teasing with his fingers as he takes the opposite nipple in his mouth. When he removes his mouth he whispers in her ear "By the end of nine months your boobs will be so big, ready to nourish our child and so much more for me to appreciate. Not that I'm not happy with what you've currently got, but when they're bigger and fuller, god Kate."

"Castle," she pants out before moaning. "Get your boxers off and get inside me," she begs entwining her hands into his hair and then sliding them down his body trying to pull at his boxers.

He gives a chuckle and kisses her long and hard on the mouth again. "Not until you're ready Kate."

She takes that opportunity to arch her back until her center makes contact with his leg, allowing him to realize that she's soaked. "I'm ready Rick," her voice some combination of sob and pant, "I'm ready."

He tugs his boxers down and slowly slides into her tightness as she rests her hands on his chest. He starts making slow shallow strokes as he continues to whisper in her ear. "And you're stomach will get so big Kate. You'll keep saying you're so fat, but I'll love it because it means that you're growing our baby inside you and that's just so incredibly sexy." She knows he's sincere because he twitches and pulses inside her as he makes his strokes as he imagines her body as her pregnancy progresses.

His speed increases as he continues, "And when you're that big and everyone knows that you're pregnant with my baby just makes it hotter. Everyone will know exactly what we did and that we love each other so much that we wanted to make a baby."

She's so distracted, torn in two as she fights to listen to Rick while the sensations from his thrusts threaten to entirely distract her.

"And god Kate, I can't wait until I get to rest my hands on your belly and feel our baby kick and move as it grows. It will be so sexy." He continues pumping into her, speed increasing just a bit more as her hips begin to arch to meet his. He runs his hand through her hair, and whispers "And you're hair will get thicker and shiner and you're skin is going be glowing so that me and everyone else out there will know how happy, healthy, beautiful, and sexy you are to be having our baby. Our baby, Kate."

He kisses her and she passionately returns each one and she feels the speed of his thrusts increase again as he adds a little twist of his hips at the end of each stroke so that he hits the best spot inside of her with each twitch of his cock and downward motion.

He continues whispering soft and husky, "And you'll want me all the time because of the hormones rushing through your body and because of how good this feels and how it reminds you of how sexy you are. And because you're so beautiful and sexy all the time I'm going to want you too. Fuck Kate I won't be able to keep my hands off you! I'd keep us in this bed for the next nine months if you'd let me."

Kate lets out a stuttering moan and begins moving her hips more urgently, wrapping her arms around his neck as he continues to move inside her. His hand traces its way down her chest and stomach, fingers coming to rest next to her clit. He begins to slowly circle the little bud, building up speed while whispering one last statement into her ear "And when we do have sex—which will be all the time because we want each other so much—you'll come so much harder than ever before Kate because of all the extra blood and hormones and desire in your veins you'll practically explode."

And with that she's gone, shattering and gasping for air, calling out his name as the walls within her clench and grip at him, dragging his own orgasm from his body. She continues to fall as she feels him still and spill his wet, warm, and pulsing release within her as he whispers "So fucking sexy Kate. So sexy," repeatedly.

He collapses next to her, still inside her as they both lay panting, trying to catch their breath and process all their emotions.

When he finally softens and slips out of her, she shifts closer into his side and kisses up his neck until she can whisper in his ear, "Rick, I hope we just made a baby."

Rick tightens his arms around her naked body and kisses her temple before whispering back, "I hope so too Kate. I hope so too."

AN: I was going to just post this anonymously on the LJ prompt page, but then I finished it and was kinda, sorta, proud of it, especially because I was able to withstand all the feels it gave me and I thought my therapist would be proud (for the handling of the feels maturely, not the smut writing), so I decided to own it.

Let me know what you think?


End file.
